I am Pissed About Writing But I Still Have to Write This

I am pissed. I joined this NaBloPoMo thingy but then I find it hard to write everyday. And now, I missed one day in a matter of minutes before I hit Publish button. While the objective is to write everyday and hone the writing skill, I just find it irritating that I was not able to keep up. I am not aware of the time, not prepared on what to write and the many excuses of I-do-not-know-why-it-happened kind of stuff. There are lots of sites helping everyone to write yet my brain is an empty can and as if, my ranting would do any help to make the situation better.

I want to give up on all the writing challenges and I want to stop reading the writing tips and stories shared by people who continued pursuing this craft. Before, all these and more inspire me to become a better blogger. Even if I feel I cannot write good, I feel that I should give it a shot and give it a try. Who knows I might get better even a bit? Perhaps it could help me be an inch closer to my goal of writing with substance and sense.

Okay, 10 more days to go and it is December 31. Where am I and what I am going to do on that day, I do not know and no one knows. I really do not want to finish the challenge (writing everyday for one month) because I think I am not good. But the objective of writing every single time is to become better until one becomes best. If I stop, I would never have to think and experience severe headaches. And if I continue, there’ll be more headaches and as expected, more sleepless nights or vice versa.

What I have learned from all these is what we can also learn in real life: There is always a price to pay to get what we want or to achieve our goals. 10 days may seem long but these 10 days are crucial days preparing me to really experience what it feels like to become a writer. I do not consider myself one, let alone my job as a technical communicator — a job that I accidentally got after I graduated from college. Writing technically is a lot different from writing creatively as one has to write and express himself in a creative yet figurative way that a reader can easily understand. That is my problem because I’ve never been creative with words.

Fine. Expect more posts from me. If you don’t mind, let me excuse myself first and I will just prepare some more pieces to be published for the last 10 days of NaBloPoMo. I would not want to miss 10 days of learning and if this is the start to become better at this craft, so be it. I missed 1 day and  I felt bad. If I miss 10 days, I might feel worst. This is another bout of mind setting for me to continue writing and now, I am decided that I will continue to write. So, if you think of giving up on your writing just like me, please also think about NOT GIVING UP yet. Please try again. You never know what good thing happens after that and where a good thing can lead next.

P.S. Most writers have a feeling that they are never good at what they do. If that is the case, take on the challenges. Just write. Who knows we can accidentally become better at we do?! 😀

* Nablopomo: More or Less – more tries

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