How I Learned to Be Cozy

Do you remember the last time you felt cozy?  I can hardly remember the last time I felt really cozy. So what I did was to learn how to get and feel cozy in order to cope with life’s challenges. Sigh. Whew.

2017 was a tough year. It was a year of sleepless nights and mornings, and even afternoons. This time, I am busy with my “work” as a full-time mum to my little boss, BM. I applied to several jobs online but unfortunately, there’s no offer yet. I was able to do some freelancing and damn, it made me dizzy but it sure put a smile on my weary face. Before, I was so uncomfortable working when I’m exhausted. But now, even if I’m tired doing chores and breastfeeding the baby all the time, I still have the energy to do some work on the side. Heck, do I have a choice to be weak? None, I guess. 😀

It’s still a blessing and opportunity to finally do what I love to do: writing and testing. I’ve learned to be grateful for any payment, no matter how small. After all, it’s hard to get a job these days and doing “something for a time” is wonderful and no easy feat. Currently, I am selling stuff online and doing some artworks to be sold soon. It might not give me a big amount of money but a little goes a long way compared to nothing. Now, I am more comfortable with the money I’ve got. Back then, I really want more but having more does not equate to stability. Nothing is secure these days, we all know that. The key is to have funds (even if we start small) and learn how to manage it well in order to be at least complacent when the rainy days come.

I’ve kept in mind these thoughts so that I’d feel cozy at times, especially when I’ve got no one to talk and turn to. 😦

  • Accept that we cannot solve everything.
  • Don’t over think.
  • Rest whenever we can.
  • Live for the moment.
  • Choose to be happy. 🙂

Learning to be cozy starts with a good mindset. It’s not easy especially if you are the type of person who’s not used to getting out of the comfort zone. But by being vulnerable and uncomfortable, we set the stage for improvement and growth. We don’t want to be dormant and stagnant, don’t we? Come to think of it, even the trees and plants grow — and if they cease to grow, at least the leaves and roots continue to grow. I hope we learn to get cozy with our lives and ourselves. Because that’s the only choice there is. 🙂

 

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Dress for Success

I am never fashionable, let alone being natty. People would always find me wearing my old clothes and I would literally look like a rag doll or a stinky garbage. No exaggeration, just pure truth. I don’t care about my looks or what other people think of my appearance. Until, one day it all changed.

According to research, it helps when we dress for success. Even if we don’t realize it, most people are suckers for good looks and first impressions. The moment their eyes laid on you, impressions are formed in an instant! Who would want bad impressions? No one, not even our cute pets! Even animals have their own ways to be beautiful and to attract mates! Those crucial five seconds can have a great impact on how a person thinks about you, especially when you are applying for a job. Since evaluators know nothing about you, they unconsciously judge you for your appearance. It sucks but that’s just human nature. If you want to get that part, you should dress to look like it!

Yeah, it can be that superficial but how we look and carry ourselves matter in work and in love. As a business owner you wouldn’t want your employees to look like trash especially when clients are around. You also wouldn’t want the love of your life look sloppy and dirty, what a pity!

We don’t have to be fashionable to look presentable. It pays to look neat, nice and clean. So, what changed my mind to be a little bit natty? Simple. Although I’m not vain about my looks, I want to look like human. I want to look presentable in pictures and in person. And now that I am a mum, I want my child to be able to say, “Look, I have the most beautiful mum in the world!” 😀

 

Catapult

Never lost, never found

Always losing my mind

Many roads to turn around

But life is still unkind.

Close to giving up

I will have at least

One last good wrap

One worthy try please.

Failure is not a loss

It is that one catapult

With a worthy cause

That leads to a great result.

— May we all be inspired to try again and again even if we fail. Failure is one good catapult to success! 🙂

 

What to Do When Changes Happen

Change can be a good thing or a bad thing. It depends on how we perceive and accept changes in our lives that makes all the difference. Change is a part of being alive and knowing that, it can either evoke fear, acceptance, sense of adventure and a lot more feelings we don’t even have names for.

The first thing to do is to accept the change. Most changes that happen to us are beyond our control. You know what I mean — disasters, death of loved ones, unexpected setbacks, deteriorating health, etc. In my case, which is very common, I instantly became a parent. I’m already nearing my 40s and being a parent is not my priority although most people are (people dreaming of having kids). But I am grateful that my partner is and because of him, I am able to experience what it feels like to become a mom. I welcomed that beautiful change and embraced it with an open heart and mind.

Along the way, we just learn to let go of what happened. We keep our heads high and move forward because no matter what we do, life goes on. Lingering on something that is not helpful will only stop us from being better versions of ourselves. Not being able to adapt to changes will stop our growth as individuals. What to do then? We don’t stop the change but we immerse ourselves in it and enjoy the ride. After all, how can we stop the change if it’s unexpected? We just let it be.

The good thing about changes is that we are never alone to handle it. If you are, it is perfectly fine to feel vulnerable and worried but not to the point that you give in to self-pity. Yes, it takes some time to adapt to changes and it is perfectly normal to feel that way. We are just human so we feel and experience things and the like. Another takeaway for experiencing changes is the learning we get from it, which makes us stronger than before.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” – Haruki Murakami 

I’d like to think that experiencing change is magic and opportunity rolled into one. It may be tragic at first but we can let it have a sweet ending. It is when we realize that change is a wonderful gift and that it is one of the constant things the world has to offer.  🙂

Sometimes We Just Have to Trust Again

If you’ve been one of those people who have been wronged several times, would you still believe in the word trust? Would you still give it a chance or give yourself a chance to trust again? It all depends on the current situation and people involved, as every person has a distinct perspective on any given situation.

Perhaps you’ve been cheated on and your partner did it again and again. Most people won’t trust again after they gave several chances, which is also the same for business partners, after they’ve partnered with a business partner who’s a total wreck.

And there is also another kind of trust where faith simply begins. If you believe in God, that’s where you believe that what you ask for in prayer will be given to you. Another example of trust is having faith that your partner won’t waste the chance you’ve given him/her and that he/she won’t take you for granted ever again.

Trusting yourself that you can do a hard thing even if you feel weak and hopeless is helpful. You owe it to yourself because you can always make things happen. And to make things happen, you have to trust yourself first even for the nth time.

Another good thing to do is to trust that miracles will happen. Miracles are always happening, we just don’t always see it because some mundane stuff are masked in roadblocks and hardships. And what about the unexpected blessings that we don’t ask for but we receive?

Sometimes we just have to trust again and see where it leads. Who knows, there’d be magic waiting to unfold. If all else fails, at least you gave yourself the chance to trust again for one last time. No regrets. 🙂

 

Some Things About Arguments

Arguments are part of our lives and inevitable throughout our lifetime. As much as possible, I tend to avoid arguments even if I know I am right. Of course, for the other party, he or she would be right, too! So what’s the point of arguing then?

If it’s for the betterment of the situation or a problem, arguments can be healthy. But not all people would take it that way. I have learned to accept the fact that each and every individual is different and that acceptance is my way of showing that I respect the person. There are times when it’s just better to ignore the person but ignoring doesn’t solve the problem unless we face it head on.

In times when I know that the argument will go to nowhere or it will result to being crap, I just walk away and keep my mouth shut. Many articles have been written that it’s better to be kind than to be right (even if you know you’re right) just to keep the person and the relationship. But to what extent? I think that depends on our acceptance level.

Will the arguments ever stop? No one knows. But one thing’s for sure is that if we have nothing good to say, we better keep our mouths shut and just let the other person argue or vent out. If we also argue while they’re arguing with us, chances are, matters will only get worse. Problems and other unnecessary topics might be brought up and that will result to more disasters in the future.

My old self won’t let the day end without having a good revenge especially if I am hurt and offended for something that I am wrongly accused of. For me, that was unforgivable. I’ve learned that it’s for the best not to argue and to think and to pause for awhile.I get angry, yes, but I choose to be patient. I have saved many relationships since then.  🙂

 

 

Passion

It’s been awhile since my last post and share, so let the passion begin now. This short poem is dedicated to all lovers, parents and most especially to soon to be parents. 🙂

Constellations above are watching over us

While you and me are faraway

Shining with love that is built to last

Brighter than anything in the milky way.

And then we both succumb

To our eternal burning fire

A magic fruit in the womb

Created with an ardent desire.

– TLL