Dear Partner

I never dreamed of having someone to be with for the rest of my life. Of course, I never dreamed that we’d be together until now. After so many years of being together, we’ve had so many bad times that outnumbered the good times. We both questioned our love for each other and we both hated each other for that. How come we are still sharing our home and our son? You can’t imagine being with me and sometimes I think life is easy without you!

I remember all the times when you said that it’s better if we part ways. And to my dismay, I told you I respect your decision and it’s better to get separated while we still have respect for each other. I also can’t imagine being with the person who loathed me and who wanted me out of his life. You said life is easier without me and I think you’re right. I also thought about that many times. Oh, see the last sentence of the first paragraph.

I also don’t believe in the reason or the fact that couples must stay because of their kids. Why prolong a useless relationship, right? Both of us can have our own lives and still be great loving parents to our ever dearest baby. Yep, this is both our thought so I know that if we part ways, a part of us will be happy. At least, I hope.

But then, what happened? This drama you and I both created is like the reruns of a melodramatic, mushy TV program. See, we’re not that sweet and dramatic yet we are caught up in this drama. I want this drama to end because it doesn’t make any sense — unless of course, I can be an actor in the future. And, if I’m attending acting workshops maybe I’d pursue drama. After all, you’re the best actor in the world and you’re my guru who taught me lots of drama. I might win an Oscar and a Golden Globe for being your apprentice.

I’m still thinking about the time we met. You said you don’t want to take a chance at love ever again but you did with me. I also said that I’m okay being with myself for the rest of my life. No one knows what happened but every time we plan to separate, it just didn’t seem to happen.ย Do you remember how peaceful we are when we haven’t met each other? ย We both miss those days.

You are strong and I love that about you. I know that you also admire my strength for holding on and for loving you for who you are. I remember these words that you wrote on the small book you’ve given me. And you also said that you’re looking forward to more adventures with me. Come on, how can we have wonderful adventures if we are acting like crazy lunatics?

Tell me now, how do we separate ways? And though you leave for a couple of days, you always come back with a little smile that turns into a grin and a big smile. I think I am used to your uncanny, grouchy ways. Are you used to living without me, my one and only fatty? I know you’re not ready because for the nth time, you’re still here. I’m not pushing you away but I just wanted to let you know that life without me is boring. And, life without you? It is heaven and I’m just kidding. Life without you is pointless because you’re a fucking exclamation point.

You’ll always be my fatty acid even if I hate you at times. I can imagine you all smiles now, you ill-tempered dick head. No more drama, okay? Hugs!

โค Your OAO

*** This is a general letter intended for couples but for some reason, it also fits me and my crazy partner. ๐Ÿ˜€

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Catapult

Never lost, never found

Always losing my mind

Many roads to turn around

But life is still unkind.

Close to giving up

I will have at least

One last good wrap

One worthy try please.

Failure is not a loss

It is that oneย catapult

With a worthy cause

That leads to a great result.

— May we all be inspired to try again and again even if we fail. Failure is one good catapult to success! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Why You Should Never Doubt Yourself

One thing I’ve learned most about doubt is that it is one of our greatest falls as human beings. ย On many occasions, I have doubted myself and I was so wrong! How could I be so negative and so doubtful of my abilities and existence? The bad thing is many people around the world lives with this sad notion about themselves. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

It is perfectly understandable to doubt another person, views, values, perspectives and a whole lot other stuff not related to ourselves. But to doubt ourselves? Definitely not! We owe a great amount of trust and confidence to ourselves. At the end of the day, we only have ourselves and ย if we are not careful, we would neglect the importance of our existence. Life is too short not to see how special, blessed and lucky we are!

I have neglected myself for the past years and I have discovered that there’s nothing good that came out of it. It was a slow process to me to believe in myself more until I’ve come to realize that I can be more, even without others believing in me. When I was a child and I get scolded and told that I am no good, I felt bad automatically! Yes, just seconds after hearing their comments, I felt unworthy and useless. Of course, I was a kid back then needing for their approval and worrying about what they think of me!

Another realization came to me that as parents, we must also be careful about what we say to our children. If they believe they’re no good, they might bring that belief until they get to be adults. Apparently, as adults, it is our sole responsibility to discern our beliefs and views on things. I told myself that even if I’m not at my best, I’d start to believe in myself little by little until I fully believe in myself. Believing in ourselves is the first step to achieving our dreams.

I’ve stopped doubting myself that I cannot do something. I’ve stopped saying that I’m weak at this and that. I always give myself a chance at life and to live each day believing that I can do anything if I put my mind and heart to it. I choose to try first before quitting and saying that I cannot do it. As long as I’m not killed, it only means that I get to be stronger every second and invincible every minute. So are you. ๐Ÿ™‚

Why Today is a Beautiful Day

Did you know that today is a beautiful sunny day for the whole universe? The new Ms. Universe has been crowned. All winners esp. the top 3 beauties are all beautiful and smart. It’s no wonder they’re there in the competition and made the day even lovelier. Congrats to Haiti, Colombia and France! France looks elegant, charming and strikingly beautiful! This is the good news and now for the bad news…

For some Filipinos, it is saddening that Ms. Philippines was bashed. Not just for her answer but she’s been bashed previously, before the competition proper. While it is ideal that one must be really fluent and trained well for a prestigious pageant like this one, one must not be quick to judge.

Many people judged her due to her English speaking skills, when in fact she can also use an interpreter if she wants to. I am not a grammar nazi, linguist or a language expert. I also stutter at times and some folks don’t even manage to get a job in a call center or language centers. Who are we to judge? We can comment, yes, but let’s not be rude. Some candidates don’t even speak English but were able to convey their message loud and clear.

Although her answer during the Top 6 Q&A could be better, it’s still an honor for the Philippines to be included in the Top 6 list. We just have to be grateful for that considering that it is still a hard feat to earn the coveted spot.

Okay, enough of the beauty queen news. Today is a beautiful day in the universe because it just is. A day is lived where we are able to breathe and enjoy the moment that is fleeting. Tomorrow is another day but today is what we have now. Today is my day, your day and our day called present. Let’s enjoy today before it finally ends. ๐Ÿ™‚

What to Do When Changes Happen

Change can be a good thing or a bad thing. It depends on how we perceive and accept changes in our lives that makes all the difference. Change is a part of being alive and knowing that, it can either evoke fear, acceptance, sense of adventure and a lot more feelings we don’t even have names for.

The first thing to do is to accept the change. Most changes that happen to us are beyond our control. You know what I mean — disasters, death of loved ones, unexpected setbacks, deteriorating health, etc. In my case, which is very common, I instantly became a parent. I’m already nearing my 40s and being a parent is not my priority although most people are (people dreaming of having kids). But I am grateful that my partner is and because of him, I am able to experience what it feels like to become a mom. I welcomed that beautiful change and embraced it with an open heart and mind.

Along the way, we just learn to let go of what happened. We keep our heads high and move forward because no matter what we do, life goes on. Lingering on something that is not helpful will only stop us from being better versions of ourselves. Not being able to adapt to changes will stop our growth as individuals. What to do then? We don’t stop the change but we immerse ourselves in it and enjoy the ride. After all, how can we stop the change if it’s unexpected? We just let it be.

The good thing about changes is that we are never alone to handle it. If you are, it is perfectly fine to feel vulnerable and worried but not to the point that you give in to self-pity. Yes, it takes some time to adapt to changes and it is perfectly normal to feel that way. We are just human so we feel and experience things and the like. Another takeaway for experiencing changes is the learning we get from it, which makes us stronger than before.

โ€œAnd once the storm is over, you wonโ€™t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You wonโ€™t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you wonโ€™t be the same person who walked in. Thatโ€™s what this stormโ€™s all about.โ€ – Haruki Murakamiย 

I’d like to think that experiencing change is magic and opportunity rolled into one. It may be tragic at first but we can let it have a sweet ending. It is when we realize that change is a wonderful gift and that it is one of the constant things the world has to offer. ย ๐Ÿ™‚

Sometimes We Just Have to Trust Again

If you’ve been one of those people who have been wronged several times, would you still believe in the word trust? Would you still give it a chance or give yourself a chance to trust again? It all depends on the current situation and people involved, as every person has a distinct perspective on any given situation.

Perhaps you’ve been cheated on and your partner did it again and again. Most people won’t trust again after they gave several chances, which is also the same for business partners, after they’ve partnered with a business partner who’s a total wreck.

And there is also another kind of trust where faith simply begins.ย If you believe in God, that’s where you believe that what you ask for in prayer will be given to you. Another example of trust is having faith that your partner won’t waste the chance you’ve given him/her and that he/she won’t take you for granted ever again.

Trusting yourself that you can do a hard thing even if you feel weak and hopeless is helpful. You owe it to yourself because you can always make things happen. And to make things happen, you have to trust yourself first even for the nth time.

Another good thing to do is to trust that miracles will happen. Miracles are always happening, we just don’t always see it because some mundane stuff are masked in roadblocks and hardships. And what about the unexpected blessings that we don’t ask for but we receive?

Sometimes we just have to trust again and see where it leads. Who knows, there’d be magic waiting to unfold. If all else fails, at least you gave yourself the chance to trust again for one last time. No regrets. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Some Things About Arguments

Arguments are part of our lives and inevitable throughout our lifetime. As much as possible, I tend to avoid arguments even if I know I am right. Of course, for the other party, he or she would be right, too! So what’s the point of arguing then?

If it’s for the betterment of the situation or a problem, arguments can be healthy. But not all people would take it that way. I have learned to accept the fact that each and every individual is different and that acceptance is my way of showing that I respect the person. There are times when it’s just better to ignore the person but ignoring doesn’t solve the problem unless we face it head on.

In times when I know that the argument will go to nowhere or it will result to being crap, I just walk away and keep my mouth shut. Many articles have been written that it’s better to be kind than to be right (even if you know you’re right) just to keep the person and the relationship. But to what extent? I think that depends on our acceptance level.

Will the arguments ever stop? No one knows. But one thing’s for sure is that if we have nothing good to say, we better keep our mouths shut and just let the other person argue or vent out. If we also argue while they’re arguing with us, chances are, matters will only get worse. Problems and other unnecessary topics might be brought up and that will result to more disasters in the future.

My old self won’t let the day end without having a good revenge especially if I am hurt and offended for something that I am wrongly accused of. For me, that was unforgivable. I’ve learned that it’s for the best not to argue and to think and to pause for awhile.I get angry, yes, but I choose to be patient. I have saved many relationships since then. ย ๐Ÿ™‚