What to Do When Changes Happen

Change can be a good thing or a bad thing. It depends on how we perceive and accept changes in our lives that makes all the difference. Change is a part of being alive and knowing that, it can either evoke fear, acceptance, sense of adventure and a lot more feelings we don’t even have names for.

The first thing to do is to accept the change. Most changes that happen to us are beyond our control. You know what I mean — disasters, death of loved ones, unexpected setbacks, deteriorating health, etc. In my case, which is very common, I instantly became a parent. I’m already nearing my 40s and being a parent is not my priority although most people are (people dreaming of having kids). But I am grateful that my partner is and because of him, I am able to experience what it feels like to become a mom. I welcomed that beautiful change and embraced it with an open heart and mind.

Along the way, we just learn to let go of what happened. We keep our heads high and move forward because no matter what we do, life goes on. Lingering on something that is not helpful will only stop us from being better versions of ourselves. Not being able to adapt to changes will stop our growth as individuals. What to do then? We don’t stop the change but we immerse ourselves in it and enjoy the ride. After all, how can we stop the change if it’s unexpected? We just let it be.

The good thing about changes is that we are never alone to handle it. If you are, it is perfectly fine to feel vulnerable and worried but not to the point that you give in to self-pity. Yes, it takes some time to adapt to changes and it is perfectly normal to feel that way. We are just human so we feel and experience things and the like. Another takeaway for experiencing changes is the learning we get from it, which makes us stronger than before.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” – Haruki Murakami 

I’d like to think that experiencing change is magic and opportunity rolled into one. It may be tragic at first but we can let it have a sweet ending. It is when we realize that change is a wonderful gift and that it is one of the constant things the world has to offer.  🙂

Sometimes We Just Have to Trust Again

If you’ve been one of those people who have been wronged several times, would you still believe in the word trust? Would you still give it a chance or give yourself a chance to trust again? It all depends on the current situation and people involved, as every person has a distinct perspective on any given situation.

Perhaps you’ve been cheated on and your partner did it again and again. Most people won’t trust again after they gave several chances, which is also the same for business partners, after they’ve partnered with a business partner who’s a total wreck.

And there is also another kind of trust where faith simply begins. If you believe in God, that’s where you believe that what you ask for in prayer will be given to you. Another example of trust is having faith that your partner won’t waste the chance you’ve given him/her and that he/she won’t take you for granted ever again.

Trusting yourself that you can do a hard thing even if you feel weak and hopeless is helpful. You owe it to yourself because you can always make things happen. And to make things happen, you have to trust yourself first even for the nth time.

Another good thing to do is to trust that miracles will happen. Miracles are always happening, we just don’t always see it because some mundane stuff are masked in roadblocks and hardships. And what about the unexpected blessings that we don’t ask for but we receive?

Sometimes we just have to trust again and see where it leads. Who knows, there’d be magic waiting to unfold. If all else fails, at least you gave yourself the chance to trust again for one last time. No regrets. 🙂

 

Some Things About Arguments

Arguments are part of our lives and inevitable throughout our lifetime. As much as possible, I tend to avoid arguments even if I know I am right. Of course, for the other party, he or she would be right, too! So what’s the point of arguing then?

If it’s for the betterment of the situation or a problem, arguments can be healthy. But not all people would take it that way. I have learned to accept the fact that each and every individual is different and that acceptance is my way of showing that I respect the person. There are times when it’s just better to ignore the person but ignoring doesn’t solve the problem unless we face it head on.

In times when I know that the argument will go to nowhere or it will result to being crap, I just walk away and keep my mouth shut. Many articles have been written that it’s better to be kind than to be right (even if you know you’re right) just to keep the person and the relationship. But to what extent? I think that depends on our acceptance level.

Will the arguments ever stop? No one knows. But one thing’s for sure is that if we have nothing good to say, we better keep our mouths shut and just let the other person argue or vent out. If we also argue while they’re arguing with us, chances are, matters will only get worse. Problems and other unnecessary topics might be brought up and that will result to more disasters in the future.

My old self won’t let the day end without having a good revenge especially if I am hurt and offended for something that I am wrongly accused of. For me, that was unforgivable. I’ve learned that it’s for the best not to argue and to think and to pause for awhile.I get angry, yes, but I choose to be patient. I have saved many relationships since then.  🙂

 

 

10 Life Lessons From A Nomad Working Abroad

When I was a kid, all I wanted was a simple store where I can sell my iced candies (aka frozen iced juice) to our neighbours. That was until my parents showed me a bigger picture which is the place we call mall. My folks said that I could have it after graduating from college and that after earning my bachelor’s degree, it would be easier to have my own business. They thought it was easy to which the gullible in me believed in. Some years later, I left our country to earn money. Being abroad is a far cry from my plans, it is my last resort when it comes to work. However, a sense of euphoria fills me in knowing that I have fulfilled my mum’s dream when she was my age back then. Here are the lessons I have learned (and heard) the hard way to which I know my mum is smiling from ear to ear. Oh, if you only see her smile when I left our house as she hugged me tight! Is it because she knew that another headache (me) is gone?! 😀

1. Attitude

My attitude sucks big time especially my “patience quotient.” If there’s a cookie and mum promises to give me one more when she gets back home, I think I could wait for her. Another cookie sounds enticing to me so what I would do is I would lick the cookie then put it back on the plate. She would not know that I have tasted it, right?! Voila, another cookie is waiting for me! Of course, what happened in real life is the exact opposite! I am restless and not the type who can wait. Traveling and working abroad tested my patience, so much that it hurts. It may not entirely changed me but I could say that my patience have upped a bit. A good attitude will either make or break us and that’s what I am working on until now.

2. Skills/Work

Not having ample skills will get us nowhere. I am not an authority to say what is skilled and what is not. However, I have observed that we must be flexible or else, we perish at the workplace. When you start working, you would be surprised that you are working for more than what you have signed for. If you are going to learn from it, take the challenge and learn everything you can. You may not get an increase but at least you get to have another work experience or another skill to master. And what if the company does not appreciate you? There’s a thing called choice and another thing called gut — get moving. You already know what to do.

3. Adventures

Adventures can be found outside the confines of our home unless you consider breaking your own furnitures an adventure on its own. Adventures and getaways may mean different to each and everyone of us yet its common ground is fun. By fun, means having a worthwhile experience that will always make you want to do it again or simply reminisce why it happened and how it made you happy. Adventures also mean that you have tried doing things you never thought you would do whether it’s jumping off a cliff, diving, eating exotic foods, singing/dancing in front of a large crowd, making fun of yourself, the list goes on and on… <insert whatever you want to do that you haven’t done yet>. Go give it a try or you’ll regret that you never did.

4. People/Culture

Each individual is different. What is good to you may mean otherwise to the other individual so it would be better if we acknowledge where a certain person comes from. I have learned not to judge them and gained a broader understanding that cultures differ. Interacting with other people enables us to learn a lot from them, as to why they act and think that way. Another perspective is brought out in the open wherein we know that the world is not just revolving around us but to other people as well.

5. Communication/Relationships

We are close to nothing if we do not know how to communicate. Without communication, there would be no relationships. While some people are innate with communication skills, it could also be learned diligently. By learning to listen, one can start communicating well. Most of us are avid talkers, not knowing when to keep our mouths shut. Why can’t we just listen eagerly to what the other individual has to say? We cannot form good relationships if we do not know how to communicate. What more getting a job if all we could do is talk about ourselves and not let the employer/recruiter have their chance to utter their sentences? What is good cover to a blabbermouth? A very sticky duct tape.

6. Health

Without good health, forget working abroad unless you have a backer who would put you into employment and say that you are fit to work. Health is definitely wealth here. There is no point earning lots of bucks if your health suffers. Invest in healthy foods and foods that could benefit your mind and body. Supplements and medicines can only take you far and will just give you a run for your money. Stay healthy or say buh-bye to your visa/work permit. Being healthy is self-explanatory.

7. Independence

Being on your own is surreal and liberating. Having your own money and having to send some of it to your family back home is an achievement. I maybe shallow but I feel happy that I could give back something to them. I am not a self-acclaimed independent bloke but at least, I never ask someone for alms. I have learned to spend my money wisely and to spend within my means. It is perfectly okay to indulge on something only if you have paid your dues and paid yourself (savings, investment, etc.). Living abroad is very expensive and we should be aware that this kind of life is not forever unless you have become a permanent resident or a citizen to which there are no guarantees. Choose a lifestyle that you can sustain and support in the long haul.

8. Freedom

Freedom is the kind of feeling where we could do what we want without having to worry what happens next. It is similar to independence but freedom is quite subjective. Freedom happens when we are in control of our lives and that happens when we know what we want and how to get it.

9. Appreciation/Gratitude

Being grateful is what keeps me going until this day. I appreciate the little things and feel happy. I feel blessed that I am able to wake up every morning. Not everyone does and this not a cliché. Thank yourself, thank your friends, thank the world. All these will love you back and make you appreciate yourself more.

10. Self

After a hard day’s work, all we have is ourselves. There are times when there’s no one to talk to and nostalgia sets in. You gotta give yourself some lovin’ and do what makes you feel loved. You are an individual worthy to be loved and you deserve it. Don’t you ever forget that! I think I love myself now and so, I am preaching it.

No matter what age you are in, being a nomad once in your life is a one of the best experiences that would make you experience life. The lessons are indeed priceless and no amount of money can give you all these challenges. Changes, good and bad combined and all the other adventures might not have happened have it not for the nomadic life you have experienced. And even if you are home buddy or a so-called patriotic who never want to leave the country, being a nomad at times has its own rewards. After all, there is nothing to lose but only to gain, unless we are dead by default.

P.S. Mum, I know that your stomach ached from too much laughing after reading this. I could hear you fart now. Okay, you won. My life is never the same again! 😀