What to Do When Changes Happen

Change can be a good thing or a bad thing. It depends on how we perceive and accept changes in our lives that makes all the difference. Change is a part of being alive and knowing that, it can either evoke fear, acceptance, sense of adventure and a lot more feelings we don’t even have names for.

The first thing to do is to accept the change. Most changes that happen to us are beyond our control. You know what I mean — disasters, death of loved ones, unexpected setbacks, deteriorating health, etc. In my case, which is very common, I instantly became a parent. I’m already nearing my 40s and being a parent is not my priority although most people are (people dreaming of having kids). But I am grateful that my partner is and because of him, I am able to experience what it feels like to become a mom. I welcomed that beautiful change and embraced it with an open heart and mind.

Along the way, we just learn to let go of what happened. We keep our heads high and move forward because no matter what we do, life goes on. Lingering on something that is not helpful will only stop us from being better versions of ourselves. Not being able to adapt to changes will stop our growth as individuals. What to do then? We don’t stop the change but we immerse ourselves in it and enjoy the ride. After all, how can we stop the change if it’s unexpected? We just let it be.

The good thing about changes is that we are never alone to handle it. If you are, it is perfectly fine to feel vulnerable and worried but not to the point that you give in to self-pity. Yes, it takes some time to adapt to changes and it is perfectly normal to feel that way. We are just human so we feel and experience things and the like. Another takeaway for experiencing changes is the learning we get from it, which makes us stronger than before.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” – Haruki Murakami 

I’d like to think that experiencing change is magic and opportunity rolled into one. It may be tragic at first but we can let it have a sweet ending. It is when we realize that change is a wonderful gift and that it is one of the constant things the world has to offer.  :)

Sometimes We Just Have to Trust Again

If you’ve been one of those people who have been wronged several times, would you still believe in the word trust? Would you still give it a chance or give yourself a chance to trust again? It all depends on the current situation and people involved, as every person has a distinct perspective on any given situation.

Perhaps you’ve been cheated on and your partner did it again and again. Most people won’t trust again after they gave several chances, which is also the same for business partners, after they’ve partnered with a business partner who’s a total wreck.

And there is also another kind of trust where faith simply begins. If you believe in God, that’s where you believe that what you ask for in prayer will be given to you. Another example of trust is having faith that your partner won’t waste the chance you’ve given him/her and that he/she won’t take you for granted ever again.

Trusting yourself that you can do a hard thing even if you feel weak and hopeless is helpful. You owe it to yourself because you can always make things happen. And to make things happen, you have to trust yourself first even for the nth time.

Another good thing to do is to trust that miracles will happen. Miracles are always happening, we just don’t always see it because some mundane stuff are masked in roadblocks and hardships. And what about the unexpected blessings that we don’t ask for but we receive?

Sometimes we just have to trust again and see where it leads. Who knows, there’d be magic waiting to unfold. If all else fails, at least you gave yourself the chance to trust again for one last time. No regrets.🙂

 

Some Things About Arguments

Arguments are part of our lives and inevitable throughout our lifetime. As much as possible, I tend to avoid arguments even if I know I am right. Of course, for the other party, he or she would be right, too! So what’s the point of arguing then?

If it’s for the betterment of the situation or a problem, arguments can be healthy. But not all people would take it that way. I have learned to accept the fact that each and every individual is different and that acceptance is my way of showing that I respect the person. There are times when it’s just better to ignore the person but ignoring doesn’t solve the problem unless we face it head on.

In times when I know that the argument will go to nowhere or it will result to being crap, I just walk away and keep my mouth shut. Many articles have been written that it’s better to be kind than to be right (even if you know you’re right) just to keep the person and the relationship. But to what extent? I think that depends on our acceptance level.

Will the arguments ever stop? No one knows. But one thing’s for sure is that if we have nothing good to say, we better keep our mouths shut and just let the other person argue or vent out. If we also argue while they’re arguing with us, chances are, matters will only get worse. Problems and other unnecessary topics might be brought up and that will result to more disasters in the future.

My old self won’t let the day end without having a good revenge especially if I am hurt and offended for something that I am wrongly accused of. For me, that was unforgivable. I’ve learned that it’s for the best not to argue and to think and to pause for awhile.I get angry, yes, but I choose to be patient. I have saved many relationships since then.  :-)

 

 

Passion

It’s been awhile since my last post and share, so let the passion begin now. This short poem is dedicated to all lovers, parents and most especially to soon to be parents.🙂

Constellations above are watching over us

While you and me are faraway

Shining with love that is built to last

Brighter than anything in the milky way.

And then we both succumb

To our eternal burning fire

A magic fruit in the womb

Created with an ardent desire.

– TLL

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Your Sanctuary

Many people are eager to make this world a better place and are hopeful to make a difference. I am one of the few who are just getting by, living and breathing not knowing where life will take me. I am not the type of person who thrives on having a plan, maybe because I am spontaneous.

Have you ever felt at one point or another that you want to be alone and do whatever you like without people judging you? Me, a massive yes but it has gotten easy through the years when I didn’t care about what other people think of me. Another way that helped me find my own happy place is to find my sanctuary.

I’ve chosen my mind to be my sanctuary for its portability, of course. Our mind is the starting point of all the thoughts we are having. But a tangible sanctuary would be my bedroom. Of all the rooms inside the house, the bedroom deserves much respect (just like the toilet) for the special reason that we put ourselves to rest in that special spot. It doesn’t have to grandiose, but a clean bedroom conducive to rest and sleep will do. In my bedroom, that is where my artworks start to happen and my writings come to life.

Other ways to find your sanctuary is to know what you like and what you think would be helpful or beneficial to you now and in the future. For example, if travelling feeds your soul, maybe your sanctuary is in other places. Others find comfort in nature, in the company of friends, in helping other people, in reading a good book, in writing, in music and art, in solitude, among others. When we find our sanctuary, that is when we begin to perform our best. If not the best, at least it is the beginning of something extraordinary.🙂

 

 

 

When Survival Is The Only Choice

Survival can be summed up in three words – never give up. That’s the heart of it really. Just keep trying. – Bear Grylls

When there’s no choice left, it is indeed a choice but a choice without an option. And that’s where survival comes in. For some or most people, survival becomes the choice by default when there is no other choice available. We all need to survive especially living things like us, even the non-living things need to survive at least for a designated time (e.g. Mostly, a condominium must withstand 50 years before it crashes, have people evacuate it or build a new one).

My predicament is nothing compared to what other people are experiencing. But it came to a point when I was just dragging my feet, my whole body, literally just to get to work. While it is still a blessing, a part of me feels that something’s wrong and I just have to get out of this rut. I haven’t gotten out of this pothole yet but I will soon because I have to make things happen for me. If I don’t make it happen, it will never happen! Have you felt the same way at one point in your life, too?🙂

What happened is that I am doing something totally different from what I have applied and signed in the contract. I don’t mind doing it because it is also a chance for me to learn something new but what’s worse is that they don’t even train or equip people (although that happened to me before). I was put in boiling water when I was asked to talk to a client and they informed the client about my position (new position that is not in the contract) but I was not even aware of it. Yep, right then and there I have to function as a personnel holding that new position.

I talked to my boss and HR manager regarding this but I was informed that their culture was for the person to wear many hats. Some of my friends have decided to leave the company and they found that the grass is really greener on the other side. Actually, people won’t be looking for other greener pastures if theirs are green and alive. Not that they don’t water it but because they only have one choice left and that is to survive. Myself included.

For the time being, I just feel grateful that I am still swimming afloat. But I have to leave before the boat sinks or else I would drown and might not be able to save myself. I am on to finding new opportunities but at this moment, none has come yet. I always remind myself not to settle but to keep on trying until I find something that is valuable to me — something that is worthwhile for me as I continue with my journey.

It won’t be now but it’s going to come soon because I am making it happen little by little. For now, I just have to survive, do what needs to be done, learn stuff and enjoy the company of new friends I’ve met in this dystopic place. I have learned to see the good in the bad. That way, I can survive.😉

The Need to Create Something

Everyone has the power to create and the itch to create. At one point or another, an individual will just create something whether a home cooked meal, sculpture, painting, a small home or whatever feeds the imagination or the person — just like a simple blog post. A child creates his masterpiece by drawing something on a piece of paper even if we cannot comprehend what he has drawn. We just feel it and sometimes, we take it that it is the reason or will to create something.🙂

Whenever I do the things I love doing, I feel alive and happy. You know, there are days when we feel meh or blah. But when we do the things we love or create things we love, some sort of magic happens. It makes us feel good, relaxes our mind and a beautiful masterpiece (whatever that is) is created. I love to draw, paint, sing, cook and write long letters. When I do these things, it feels like time suddenly stops and it puts a smile on my weary face. How about you, what makes you feel at ease and when do you feel you are in your own element?

Further, if we scratch the itch to create, imagine how many wonderful moments will happen and how many opportunities will be opened to us. Not to mention, the number of people we can inspire when we create something.

Daily Prompt: Raison D’ être