Why You Should Never Doubt Yourself

One thing I’ve learned most about doubt is that it is one of our greatest falls as human beings.  On many occasions, I have doubted myself and I was so wrong! How could I be so negative and so doubtful of my abilities and existence? The bad thing is many people around the world lives with this sad notion about themselves. 😦

It is perfectly understandable to doubt another person, views, values, perspectives and a whole lot other stuff not related to ourselves. But to doubt ourselves? Definitely not! We owe a great amount of trust and confidence to ourselves. At the end of the day, we only have ourselves and  if we are not careful, we would neglect the importance of our existence. Life is too short not to see how special, blessed and lucky we are!

I have neglected myself for the past years and I have discovered that there’s nothing good that came out of it. It was a slow process to me to believe in myself more until I’ve come to realize that I can be more, even without others believing in me. When I was a child and I get scolded and told that I am no good, I felt bad automatically! Yes, just seconds after hearing their comments, I felt unworthy and useless. Of course, I was a kid back then needing for their approval and worrying about what they think of me!

Another realization came to me that as parents, we must also be careful about what we say to our children. If they believe they’re no good, they might bring that belief until they get to be adults. Apparently, as adults, it is our sole responsibility to discern our beliefs and views on things. I told myself that even if I’m not at my best, I’d start to believe in myself little by little until I fully believe in myself. Believing in ourselves is the first step to achieving our dreams.

I’ve stopped doubting myself that I cannot do something. I’ve stopped saying that I’m weak at this and that. I always give myself a chance at life and to live each day believing that I can do anything if I put my mind and heart to it. I choose to try first before quitting and saying that I cannot do it. As long as I’m not killed, it only means that I get to be stronger every second and invincible every minute. So are you. 🙂

Why Today is a Beautiful Day

Did you know that today is a beautiful sunny day for the whole universe? The new Ms. Universe has been crowned. All winners esp. the top 3 beauties are all beautiful and smart. It’s no wonder they’re there in the competition and made the day even lovelier. Congrats to Haiti, Colombia and France! France looks elegant, charming and strikingly beautiful! This is the good news and now for the bad news…

For some Filipinos, it is saddening that Ms. Philippines was bashed. Not just for her answer but she’s been bashed previously, before the competition proper. While it is ideal that one must be really fluent and trained well for a prestigious pageant like this one, one must not be quick to judge.

Many people judged her due to her English speaking skills, when in fact she can also use an interpreter if she wants to. I am not a grammar nazi, linguist or a language expert. I also stutter at times and some folks don’t even manage to get a job in a call center or language centers. Who are we to judge? We can comment, yes, but let’s not be rude. Some candidates don’t even speak English but were able to convey their message loud and clear.

Although her answer during the Top 6 Q&A could be better, it’s still an honor for the Philippines to be included in the Top 6 list. We just have to be grateful for that considering that it is still a hard feat to earn the coveted spot.

Okay, enough of the beauty queen news. Today is a beautiful day in the universe because it just is. A day is lived where we are able to breathe and enjoy the moment that is fleeting. Tomorrow is another day but today is what we have now. Today is my day, your day and our day called present. Let’s enjoy today before it finally ends. 🙂

What to Do When Changes Happen

Change can be a good thing or a bad thing. It depends on how we perceive and accept changes in our lives that makes all the difference. Change is a part of being alive and knowing that, it can either evoke fear, acceptance, sense of adventure and a lot more feelings we don’t even have names for.

The first thing to do is to accept the change. Most changes that happen to us are beyond our control. You know what I mean — disasters, death of loved ones, unexpected setbacks, deteriorating health, etc. In my case, which is very common, I instantly became a parent. I’m already nearing my 40s and being a parent is not my priority although most people are (people dreaming of having kids). But I am grateful that my partner is and because of him, I am able to experience what it feels like to become a mom. I welcomed that beautiful change and embraced it with an open heart and mind.

Along the way, we just learn to let go of what happened. We keep our heads high and move forward because no matter what we do, life goes on. Lingering on something that is not helpful will only stop us from being better versions of ourselves. Not being able to adapt to changes will stop our growth as individuals. What to do then? We don’t stop the change but we immerse ourselves in it and enjoy the ride. After all, how can we stop the change if it’s unexpected? We just let it be.

The good thing about changes is that we are never alone to handle it. If you are, it is perfectly fine to feel vulnerable and worried but not to the point that you give in to self-pity. Yes, it takes some time to adapt to changes and it is perfectly normal to feel that way. We are just human so we feel and experience things and the like. Another takeaway for experiencing changes is the learning we get from it, which makes us stronger than before.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” – Haruki Murakami 

I’d like to think that experiencing change is magic and opportunity rolled into one. It may be tragic at first but we can let it have a sweet ending. It is when we realize that change is a wonderful gift and that it is one of the constant things the world has to offer.  🙂

Sometimes We Just Have to Trust Again

If you’ve been one of those people who have been wronged several times, would you still believe in the word trust? Would you still give it a chance or give yourself a chance to trust again? It all depends on the current situation and people involved, as every person has a distinct perspective on any given situation.

Perhaps you’ve been cheated on and your partner did it again and again. Most people won’t trust again after they gave several chances, which is also the same for business partners, after they’ve partnered with a business partner who’s a total wreck.

And there is also another kind of trust where faith simply begins. If you believe in God, that’s where you believe that what you ask for in prayer will be given to you. Another example of trust is having faith that your partner won’t waste the chance you’ve given him/her and that he/she won’t take you for granted ever again.

Trusting yourself that you can do a hard thing even if you feel weak and hopeless is helpful. You owe it to yourself because you can always make things happen. And to make things happen, you have to trust yourself first even for the nth time.

Another good thing to do is to trust that miracles will happen. Miracles are always happening, we just don’t always see it because some mundane stuff are masked in roadblocks and hardships. And what about the unexpected blessings that we don’t ask for but we receive?

Sometimes we just have to trust again and see where it leads. Who knows, there’d be magic waiting to unfold. If all else fails, at least you gave yourself the chance to trust again for one last time. No regrets. 🙂

 

Some Things About Arguments

Arguments are part of our lives and inevitable throughout our lifetime. As much as possible, I tend to avoid arguments even if I know I am right. Of course, for the other party, he or she would be right, too! So what’s the point of arguing then?

If it’s for the betterment of the situation or a problem, arguments can be healthy. But not all people would take it that way. I have learned to accept the fact that each and every individual is different and that acceptance is my way of showing that I respect the person. There are times when it’s just better to ignore the person but ignoring doesn’t solve the problem unless we face it head on.

In times when I know that the argument will go to nowhere or it will result to being crap, I just walk away and keep my mouth shut. Many articles have been written that it’s better to be kind than to be right (even if you know you’re right) just to keep the person and the relationship. But to what extent? I think that depends on our acceptance level.

Will the arguments ever stop? No one knows. But one thing’s for sure is that if we have nothing good to say, we better keep our mouths shut and just let the other person argue or vent out. If we also argue while they’re arguing with us, chances are, matters will only get worse. Problems and other unnecessary topics might be brought up and that will result to more disasters in the future.

My old self won’t let the day end without having a good revenge especially if I am hurt and offended for something that I am wrongly accused of. For me, that was unforgivable. I’ve learned that it’s for the best not to argue and to think and to pause for awhile.I get angry, yes, but I choose to be patient. I have saved many relationships since then.  🙂

 

 

Passion

It’s been awhile since my last post and share, so let the passion begin now. This short poem is dedicated to all lovers, parents and most especially to soon to be parents. 🙂

Constellations above are watching over us

While you and me are faraway

Shining with love that is built to last

Brighter than anything in the milky way.

And then we both succumb

To our eternal burning fire

A magic fruit in the womb

Created with an ardent desire.

– TLL

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Your Sanctuary

Many people are eager to make this world a better place and are hopeful to make a difference. I am one of the few who are just getting by, living and breathing not knowing where life will take me. I am not the type of person who thrives on having a plan, maybe because I am spontaneous.

Have you ever felt at one point or another that you want to be alone and do whatever you like without people judging you? Me, a massive yes but it has gotten easy through the years when I didn’t care about what other people think of me. Another way that helped me find my own happy place is to find my sanctuary.

I’ve chosen my mind to be my sanctuary for its portability, of course. Our mind is the starting point of all the thoughts we are having. But a tangible sanctuary would be my bedroom. Of all the rooms inside the house, the bedroom deserves much respect (just like the toilet) for the special reason that we put ourselves to rest in that special spot. It doesn’t have to grandiose, but a clean bedroom conducive to rest and sleep will do. In my bedroom, that is where my artworks start to happen and my writings come to life.

Other ways to find your sanctuary is to know what you like and what you think would be helpful or beneficial to you now and in the future. For example, if travelling feeds your soul, maybe your sanctuary is in other places. Others find comfort in nature, in the company of friends, in helping other people, in reading a good book, in writing, in music and art, in solitude, among others. When we find our sanctuary, that is when we begin to perform our best. If not the best, at least it is the beginning of something extraordinary. 🙂